Day 2: If only these ducks had names...
I woke up incredibly tired and not very much into wanting to live. My emotions have been on a roller coaster ride lately and I can't seem to get a firm grip on them.
I'm feeling abandoned. I'm very upset with a group of people that are worried about my ups and downs, but don't decide to approach me about them. They talk among themselves as if it were no big deal and then decide it's a good time to approach me about it. "We're concerned." They say. What about the questions that used to exist in years past? "How are you, Whitney? What's going on in your life right now? Are things getting any better for you?" Of course I'm messed up right now. Thanks for showing you care by asking me about it. Gossiping is not a way to help friends. Not in this lifetime or the next.
Today, I skipped the potassium broth. I smelled it and couldn't get myself to drink it. Another day, I suppose. I *did* drink some orange juice though, undiluted. It was very yummy.
I didn't actually make any juices today. Consumed 1 green tea and 2 chamomile teas along with a bottle of white grape juice. I'll probably actually make a real juice later.
I can't wait for the day to wind down so I can go home and watch Gray's Anatomy and not have to care about things.
More later.
11:05
I totally slept through Grey's. Majorly bummed about that. I'm abot to catch up on the episodes online and then plan to watch the new one tomorrow night.
I've never been not able to be forgiven before. The thought continues to eat away at me and my heart. I've never done anything that could constitute as being so bad that people abandon me. It makes me sick to my stomach. ... That feeling could also be from the high amount of acid I just drank from the tall glass of orange juice. But it was just SO good!
I'm tired of hearing about people's negative opinions on my fasting. I think if I ever do this again I'm going to do it without anyone knowing. That's a better way to live. The bible does say to make your appearance one that no one knows what you are doing. Bringing glory to yourself is certainly a very easy way to fail at this thing, I suppose.
I drank some broth and more white grape juice earlier, then HAD to take a nap. Unfortunately, the one hour nap I intended on turned into three. I probably shouldn't have stayed up until 2 a.m.
I'm so sad right now. Sad that my best friend abandoned me. Sad that Ashton isn't here. Sad that my life isn't anywhere near normal anymore.
I'm feeling abandoned. I'm very upset with a group of people that are worried about my ups and downs, but don't decide to approach me about them. They talk among themselves as if it were no big deal and then decide it's a good time to approach me about it. "We're concerned." They say. What about the questions that used to exist in years past? "How are you, Whitney? What's going on in your life right now? Are things getting any better for you?" Of course I'm messed up right now. Thanks for showing you care by asking me about it. Gossiping is not a way to help friends. Not in this lifetime or the next.
Today, I skipped the potassium broth. I smelled it and couldn't get myself to drink it. Another day, I suppose. I *did* drink some orange juice though, undiluted. It was very yummy.
I didn't actually make any juices today. Consumed 1 green tea and 2 chamomile teas along with a bottle of white grape juice. I'll probably actually make a real juice later.
I can't wait for the day to wind down so I can go home and watch Gray's Anatomy and not have to care about things.
More later.
11:05
I totally slept through Grey's. Majorly bummed about that. I'm abot to catch up on the episodes online and then plan to watch the new one tomorrow night.
I've never been not able to be forgiven before. The thought continues to eat away at me and my heart. I've never done anything that could constitute as being so bad that people abandon me. It makes me sick to my stomach. ... That feeling could also be from the high amount of acid I just drank from the tall glass of orange juice. But it was just SO good!
I'm tired of hearing about people's negative opinions on my fasting. I think if I ever do this again I'm going to do it without anyone knowing. That's a better way to live. The bible does say to make your appearance one that no one knows what you are doing. Bringing glory to yourself is certainly a very easy way to fail at this thing, I suppose.
I drank some broth and more white grape juice earlier, then HAD to take a nap. Unfortunately, the one hour nap I intended on turned into three. I probably shouldn't have stayed up until 2 a.m.
I'm so sad right now. Sad that my best friend abandoned me. Sad that Ashton isn't here. Sad that my life isn't anywhere near normal anymore.
posted by Whit | 12:12 PM
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